Nervous

Dull grey, but it’s mean not seem. All looks so strange this morning. At the time i just wake up on my bed. This morning so different like before, I’m still rubbed both my eyes. There is something difficult to explain, It’s continues to fill up my mind .There’s the strange things to always disturb me, make me not comfortable. I’m still guessing, what it’s? . One of my hand  still looking for  the thing i holded since last night,  it’s  like never want to take it off.

It’s  not a great time to realizing what happend to me? This time, that object so meaningful to me. Probably just a paper. So , what’s going on?

Tring.... tring... tring...

A louder sound makes  me  shock. Ya, my phone. Then, who calls me in the morning at moment i can’t control my feeling! Phone screen show who is caller, yah my classmate. My hands are busy holding the paper, move directly to answer the calls.

 “Hello. Good morning and how are you?”  “with the low sound”

 “Morning, pretty good. What  is  important that you calls me in the morning? It’s not good choice to distrub my time right?”  “nyaris get angry”

 “LOL. NO! Why you thought that? I just try to remember your scedule  for today? You join with speech contest right?”

 “Yah exactly, and then? You calls me only to ask that? Or what?”

 “Haha don’t be sensitif  human being. Why? You seem  so panic?  I can imagine your face, certainly confuse right? Don’t be afraid my friends, just keep confidence. I know you can do it. Don’t ever think worst  about that, just flow like water, it’s only competation. And must has winner but not make you worry about that. Please show your perfect performance. Don’t forget  to remember that Allah has good planned to you.” “talk to much with the louder sound”

“I think you so noisy, but thanks for your support to me! i try to be relax. And now, i should close your call, because i feel starving. Bye noisy!”  “close the calls”

She is right, i have to be relax. “kataku dalam hati”

           

Like i said before, many ways make me confused, right now, i try to fix it.  There is aroma make i can’t control my stomatch. Sesuap friedrice can make me to be enjoy. I’m going to find the source aroma. Ya from  my  kitchen; Exactly this is a great breaksfest from my mom. All of  menu already on  table. With this, no reason to let it go. Let’s take breakfest!  

Kali ini aku mencoba mencerna setiap apa yang aku pikirkan sejak tadi, mulutku terus mengunyah dengan lahap setiap desir nasi itu, i’m aware, it’s  Called  Nervous. When i can’t control my own feeling. It’s feel so long.. until i go to college.

My hands still hold the papers, try to remember the concept and patterm. Both my hand vibrate, my feet as well. Not need a long time i must speak up in front of many people.   

 Oh my god. I pay attention people arround  me, they are  look so relax. why i looks so diffrent between their, cmon be confidence. Kini waktu kembali memainkan perannnya.. how much i try.. i still cannot manage time. Kini perasaan ku semakin bertambah  rancu at the time master of ceremony comes to opening the event, and talk about the rule, sebuah nomor tertancap di sudut bajuku, i’m the first one! Kini pikiranku semakin jauh kebelakang, everything feels so flat. Mereka yang melihat ku pun pasti menyangka aku sedang di kondisi sangat aneh. Nervous make me sane.

The firts performance is .....

Suddenly Master of ceremony calls my name. All my body sudden feel weight to leave the place i sit. Semua mata tertuju padaku, ini waktunya, mau atau tidak? I must stand on stage! Kedua kakiku mulai beranjak, aku tida di tempat yang sangat ku takuti sebelumnya, didepanku berdiri. Number of judgest ready to give me score. Annything that happend, i know god has god planned to me. I start to speak up and explained about my titlle. Time going so quickly..

Finally i have done my speech.

Ini yang aku rasakan, sebuah ketakutan yang tak bisa djelaskan, sebuah perasaan yang membuat si pelakunya bingung tak beralasaan, aku tahu kalian pasti pernah di posisi ku , they are called nervous. 
it's no matter about that. as long as i trust my self. annything will be okay. Lega, mungkin satu kata yang menenangkan ku saat ini, this event given me chance to show my own ability. don't be afraid about something will be comes, bad or good. it's just present. more importaint i be brave to control my nervous, so happy can speech in front of you . 
Good experiece to create this short story, hope your enjoy to read! see ya